musings

1. Drama in sports at my high school. Not my business to reflect on (in a public way; I'm happy to share my thoughts via email), but my heart is with my school, and my heart is with my fellow teacher. I keep thinking, in some ways, "There but for the grace of God go I..." This phrase, in any serious situation, has never failed to send chills down my spine.

2. The budget has mutated. I now have hope again, and I don't know what to do with that. My neighboring math teacher said, "So you're disappointed because you don't have the guts to leave?" Indeed. Why on earth would someone leave a job that pays decently, has health insurance, you can retire decently from, and you can still carry some semblence of respect when you say this is what you do for a living? Plus, I'm close to some of my goals in the profession... And I enjoy it, except when I'm frustrated. :) Of course, frustration levels are high, and I had been sending my close friend KF daily updates on my complaints. In fact, another of my bridesmaids, who also teaches at this school, had been sending me emails called "Complaint Department." OK, so this is any job. And like I said--the big things are good--I like my principal, I like my department heads, I like my department, and even though it can be tough, I like the ruler in the drama department (because he is darn good at what he does). I think, since I'm where I am at right now, I ought to make one of those pro-con lists, especially as I'm at my most confused... or maybe I'm back to how I was at Thanksgiving. I just hope it all works out for the best--especially for those kids.

I've been a better teacher for it, I think. When I was frustrated and scared and resigned, I felt my patience level and my tolerence go down. I'm much more eager to talk about important things and help guide them through lessons, etc. It's weird how that all works.

3. P is adorable. Check out the pictures to see why. I had a dream last night that we got a second dog and P rejected that dog! I couldn't imagine that happening as P loves anything that moves (and some things that don't move voluntarily). Ryan told L & A at the wine dinner last night (yum) that we might get a husky. Very cute dogs. The ones we've seen at the Humane Society were brought in because they ate chickens; I hope they don't think cats are chickens. We'll see how everything plays out, especially since Flip (who I sometimes call other things because it's such a goofy name) is up for adoption in less then two weeks. Something tells me, no matter what I say (which is next to nothing) and what our financial situation is, we'll have another dog come June. I'm fine with it, as long as K realizes the precariousness of my job (which he does--more then anyone else, poor guy).

4. I really miss discussing literature with fellow nerdy people like me. Picking things apart and analyzing each word, each line... putting on those lenses (theories). I need to fill that hole, no matter what happens with the job.

5. Those kids in drama rock right now. We have a competition tomorrow and we all have high hopes for their going to the next level. Everyone cross your fingers... I'll post tomorrow those results. Last year they should have gone. It was close. So this year, it's head to head again, and it's weird because I'm not a sports fan, but I definitely am enjoying being a fan of this competition.

6. Oh, I almost forgot the one that I think is the biggest. There has been discussion of banning a book in my district (which apparently was an issue before and they brought in a professor and did all this training to teach the book well). It's back again, and it made the papers. I despise the idea of censorshop, no matter what the content (which is a stretch for me, especially now that I'm becoming older and more fuddy-duddy). Teachers ought to be trusted, especially when they set up meetings to make sure the content is taught responsibly. I've forwarded the email to my family and have gotten a similar response--if we don't teach these things, these things don't get discussed and what is the point of education, if not to process and discuss ideas?