Friday, April 07, 2006


I spend twelve hours plus at school every day now.

I love working with the kids and doing the musical, but this is too much.

Last night, K and I went to a hockey game with four of our friends and the two and a half hours I sat at the game with him was the longest amount of time I've been able to spend with him since before the One Act started. I'm probably exaggerating, but that's how it feels.

I love the kids, I love teaching, I love the program. I love what I do.

But I'm not willing to give them my life.

At some point, I want to have children. I want to build a family. Not a program.

I'm tired all of the time and it stinks.

I know I'm complaining... I need to look at the positive! But this weekend. Whew! Tonight, I need to clean the house (it's a disaster--really) because my parents are coming tomorrow morning. Tomorrow evening we're going to see Hamlet at the Guthrie (the last show before they move to their new location). Before my parents come, I need to get to the library, the post office, and the thrift store. So I have no choice but to clean tonight. And I'm not talking--oh, give it a good vacuum, fluff the pillows and mop the floors. I'm talking the mail has piled up for two weeks (hope there aren't any urgent bills or letters), there are just as many piles of dust bunnies as piles of dirty laundry on the floor, and I can't see the bedroom floor anymore. I'm exaggerating, but only a little. It's depressing. This whole week, I have gotten up at five, gone to school, come home, had dinner, gone to bed. Not much time between each task. Yesterday, I was away from the house for seventeen hours.

This is the irony--spring break was boring. I'm such a terrible procrastinator that I didn't do a huge amount of cleaning. I helped work on the set, helped shop for costumes, read a ton, slept quite a bit, did things I can't do during school weeks (car repair, doctor stuff). But I didn't catch up on grading and I didn't do a lot of cleaning. I kept thinking--tomorrow. I'm so stupid.

I don't mean to sound so negative. I'm trying to vent before K comes home (yep, it's almost eight and he's still at work--I shouldn't complain myself, I guess!) so that he doesn't have to hear it.

What I really need to do is post this and um, clean. :)

And taxes! Sheesh! Haven't finished those yet. They're hard when you have all kinds of money invested that you've never known about. Surprise!

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