taking care

Puppies at play. The flinging around the yard, cantering like small ponies, trickery and Odysseus-like guile in snatching away the chew toy. K pulling puppies into his lap, dancing about, offering to share dinner. The taste of summer grass, the smell after the mower. Plans to clear out the debris, hopes for a crabgrass-less yard (knowing full well it will win out again).












When I was little, being sick was a little fun. I was treated like a princess--mint chocolate chip ice cream late at night, clear soda and Gatorade, movies from Blockbuster stacked up (The Never Ending Story the one I remember the most, my drawing the characters on pieces of typewriter paper). Being cared for by your parents is such a blissful experience. The lack of worries, the snuggly warm feeling of knowing all will be better, and they will make it so.

K did the same thing for me when we were first dating. He's still very good when I'm not feeling well, but there was one time when I was living in a studio apartment near campus in Minneapolis, and he made a list of all the things I craved--the ice cream, the macaroni and cheese, those comfort foods of recovery--and he took care of me for the weekend, brushing hair back, curling up next to me in sleep, ignoring my tossing and sweating and groaning.

Today I am home sick, curled up in sleep, waking up again and again to an overloaded, heavy head--the kind of weight that comes from a still-sore throat, mucus pressing against the backs of my eyes. Just sick enough to feel exhaustion even if you have gone to bed early, just sick enough to know if you don't rest now, it will get worse (and the coming weekend would be miserable if you were sick). But well enough to feel frustration, to wish I could just pick up and go and continue on with the pace of life.


A trip to the market today: milk, Vitamin water, food for the dogs, ylang-ylang lotion. The bravery of asparagus in the garden plot. Fried chicken in a bucket. Birds above, twittering, observing us safely.


I am reading another blog and have been inspired to create a "bliss list":


1. Reading a good book that does not want to be put down, that you cannot put down. Even better, reading that book during a thunderstorm or snow storm.
2. Snow days and other unexpected stretches of time given back.
3. Quiet peace in the wide world--on a lake, in the woods. Being able to still the whirling outside.
4. A good night with friends--a bonfire, a few beers, dialogue, stories.
5. Tastes: blue cheese, fresh fruit, chocolate.
6. Reading, writing, or listening to a good poem.
7. Curling up next to K at night.
8. A thunderstorm approaching in the season where buds are unfurling.
9. Christmas lights early in the morning, soft snow falling.
10. Seeing the look on my students' faces when they get it.
11. A spring afternoon, eating dinner with my fiance, the dogs romping around the yard (and K discovering the action setting).
12. Creation. Photographs, journal entries, art.




What about this as a first dance wedding song?