Friday, May 04, 2007

a comment on a blog

I recently read this post from a stranger-blogger I have got a creative crush on, and I found myself with this response, something I didn't even know was true until I was writing it:

"What timing for this post... I am just now rising out of the ashes of anxiety. This past February I was questioning everything: do I stay in the teaching profession, will they keep me anyway, should I chase after my MFA, am I good enough anyway, etc.? It was like a running ticker in my mind and the anxiety would swallow me up, leaving me gasping for breath.

But now, only a few months later, choices made for me, I am looking forward to being present to each moment as it passes, and to make decisions that work toward goals, but the goals aren't what I'm chasing. I suppose it's some kind of inner peace, inner calm. Enjoying the journey, being here now.

So I don't think this is helpful to you, except to know when to allow the critic out and when to celebrate. Writer's groups always help me and the most--time. Letting a piece sit on a windowsill for a day, a week, a month, maybe two, and coming back with fresh eyes. But also: having faith that one day I will write something truly remarkable, and until then, I'm always warming up, always enjoying the freedom and the pleasure of that warmth."

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