a tired little soldier...

The picture at left about sums it up. I let my freshmen have a work day today, and that was clearly a mistake. I was going to do something similiarly relaxing tomorrow, but they lost that privilege. We're going to do something I consider fun--ad analysis. It is, after all, a media and research paper.

Reserving labs is a nightmare at my school. It shouldn't take half your prep period to make sure the kids can be in the library to research and have the laptop carts to do the research on. As of right now, our library has ten computers for student access. And about five books. I kid, but really--when you walk into our library, even the kids that despise reading commented on how small it is. It's kind of a shock. Where are all the books? Coming, at some point.

Anyway, things have been going OK lately. I still have that "I'm only one person" thing going on, but when K. urges me to look into other job situations, I tell him about how I have more opportunities at this job then I might at another--more flexibility, etc.

Oh, but here's something that is always fun--I had a parent sit in on my 5th hour class. I like this parent (I've met her before on various occassions), but it still throws a person off. I know that she's there to help her daughter--and I hope it works, which it seem so be--but the hour her daughter is in is squirrelly enough that I thought it would frustrate me more. It didn't--not really--which was a relief. (I had been warned that this parent has been known to visit in the past.) Of course, anyone in the classroom who isn't a part of the typical make up can unnerve a person... And I just had the principal in on Monday morning, so I suppose it is guests all over the place.

Tomorrow is Friday and for this, I am glad. I have had a least one (if not up to three or four) obligations after school every day this week, so Saturday will come as a great relief... I love all that I do--honestly and truly--but sometimes I wonder how people have the energy for it all. I can say one thing for sure--for a while I had been frustrated with The Director, but the past few meetings with him, while there are still some issues, I have been taken more into the fold. I look forward to doing the musical in the spring, but I hope they can bring him back next fall. I have a lot to learn and he will improve the program. Some kids may not like the way he runs things, but they get me for the musical this year and probably the One Act next year. That's good enough, I think, especially if they want to pull off a show as spectacular as the ones he can do.

I think the biggest thing at this point is to stop listening to other people. I am depressingly easily swayed by other opinions, and the urgings that I got from the kids and from some staff members caused me to have the courage to aggressively persue a bigger role in drama. Don't get me wrong--I do love the stage--but I go back and forth on what I think might be best for the program. I know there are some kids that are pretty significant to the program that aren't happy, but I also see them coming back despite The Director's presense. I'm there, maybe that balances it out. Me and him could make a great team--his experience, expertise, decisions--my caring, listening, interest with the kids. I often think how two people combined could make a superhuman teacher (for instance, my knowledge and passion for literature with R's knowledge and passion for speech combined with our combined (bad English, I know) knowledge of writing could make one badass general English teacher).

In the end, though, I think the best thing we can do as educators (and as human beings) is to be influenced by those who excel in the areas where we lack. (I became a much more patient person after I started dating K., though sometimes he is the source of my frustration!!) And I need to learn from R. on how to become a better speech instruction (during those brief speech units of mine). I want to give this minor speech some serious attention with warm up exercises and all. I know some kids really don't want to get up in front of the room, and that's fine, but they're going to have to learn to do things outside of their comfort level. You know, like me being patient. :) Ha ha.