Tuesday, August 30, 2005

You want me to do what?

New surprises around the corner every day...

This week is our school's inservice training week. I have been doing OK so far, but we've only been at it for two days... two days that have felt like two hundred. Or at least two weeks' worth. Was there even a weekend between all that new teacher orientation stuff and this week's inservice? I don't remember a weekend being there. At least, I don't remember relaxing very much. :)

Today I found out I am essentially the only theatre person on staff. I am it, folks. Yes, we have Denny Swanson to direct the school play and musical, but I am the assistant director and I am the advisor for the drama club. I also found out today that I am it for the one-act play (a competitive deal), an extra curricular that I didn't even know I was a part of, let alone leading...

I don't know what to think of that.

Not only am I a brand new teacher who is teaching two classes (preps--I have five classes total) I has never taught before, one of which is essentially a special ed class that often is riddled with behavior issues, but I am also the advisor for the drama club, the assistant director of the musical and play, the one-act play person, and the advisor (this one was voluntary, so Emily said I couldn't count it--Emily being one of my colleagues and also a young teacher who is doing speech team and said she'd help me out with the one act) to the literary arts magazine.

This, on top of buying a brand new house, trying to spend time with my boyfriend, trying to find space for a social life, and really, desperately clinging to the idea that at some point I can read for pleasure.

I'm not even mentioning travel.

The one hour drive to and from school.

The fact that none of our friends live in Red Wing, so it can take a mini to a regular road trip to see anyone.

And the pressure of just being a new teacher--trying to be phenomenal and still stay awake, trying to pass all of those observations (there are five in all--two unofficial and three official) with flying colors but not show off or bomb, trying to recruit kids to be involved in the activities you are heading but not be overwhelmed by either the effort of getting them involved or having so many kids you don't know what to do...

Having a classroom of 30+ students and being responsible for getting to know them well.

Knowing that you won't have the same kids from one semester to the next, maybe.

And still forging bonds with as many as possible.

Of course, no one can slip through the cracks. Everyone can learn. And we're going to give you 150 kids. (If you're lucky.) Make sure they all learn and are all successful.

I seriously want to cry.

And then I tell someone about it and some respond--"Well, at least you have a job." Or--"You love your job."

True. I can't deny either of those. I am incredibly lucky to work where I am working (I suppose today is my official first day as an employee of Lakeville Area Schools--wow!). And the staff that I have met is so supportive and great... and I do love teaching. I feel excited and I feel like it's what I am meant to be doing.

But I'm also so tired... and feeling a little frazzled already, which is probably understandable given this is a brand spankin' new job for me.

It's tough when you come from work and have to come to your house that is still packed and getting messier by the minute, and I have a boyfriend who is equally frazzled with his job and tired and so he'll come home (he's still not home yet) all cranky and tired and we'll both be cranky and tired and hate the mess that our house is in.

Can you imagine if I had children? Good lord. Now I understand why some of these people have gone to part time.

I guess I just wish I weren't doing quite so many extra curriculars. It's not the drama club or the literary arts magazine that will eat up my time--none of those are tough at all. It's the play, musical, and one-act that frighten me and make me want to hide under the covers. One of those would be plenty. But all three? I think I'm going to have to sit down with the Activities Director and tell him that this is too much for me. I have my mental health to think about.

I would really love to do all of this, but the idea of a breakdown only a month into the school year is pretty frightening! :)

So. I'm going to have to get really organized, especially if I keep the one-act, and prioritize.

I need a nap, but my house is calling. Time to work on the second bedroom.

Oh, did I mention we have guests coming this weekend????

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