Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Tears will wash away what's past...

I can't write for long as I need to get my booty to bed (it's WAY past bedtime), but I do want to say that I cried a lot today (in regards, for the most part, to school), but now that I have cried, have talked about it, have had lots of things happen--I feel mostly better.

And if that isn't a teaser...

Ha ha. Mostly related to what I have already posted, but also about duties that I have here at home and making sure that Ryan has the attention that he deserves.

What I need to do is learn the balancing act! I'm so excited to do all of the things I need to do, but what I am worried the most about right now--TIME. Do I have time to be the best teacher I can be and still also be successful as an advisor?

This is silly, and it's not like... it's not that I'm keeping track to complain. But people drive me nuts when they say (in response to that whole not-being-paid-enough thing), "Well, you have summers off!" So what I have decided to do, in order to prove to the world that we aren't paid so great considering the summers off thing--I am going to keep track of hours. And I am going to do some math. I am a new teacher, so my hours are going to be CRAZY, but that's not the point. Yes, I am salaried, but I want to prove to whoever (whomever?) is out there--we deserve the dang summers off. As I approach this WACKY school year, I would much rather the duties that I have over a one year period then a nine and a half month period. I don't think I would have cried nearly as much (I even cried in front of a colleague--yikes!) if I had more time.

But mostly--I AM EXCITED! Oh, the school year starts so soon and I am a part of this school, and I really am a teacher now. I'm not a student teacher... I am a "real" teacher. This is genuine, and I am going to do great!

(When I say things like that, I am definitely not full of myself. Just trying to be confident. I really hope that I do well by my students.)

OK, tonight is the latest night I have stayed up so far this week. I'm going to be paying for it tomorrow. Guess what's first on the agenda? The active shooter thingy... where this group of police officers and other such torturing people come in and give us a shooter drill with a gun and blanks and screaming and we have to pretend it's really happening and they're in our halls and we have to get our fake students into the room and locked on time... did I mention that almost all of my wall facing the hallway is windows???

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