Wednesday, November 28, 2007

list of mundanities

Dream: I was standing in the hallway, just outside my classroom, where I found out there would be a .9 English position at Local High School for next year. I was on the list for an interview, as was someone from Rochester schools, and the librarian at our school, who also happens to teach Yearbook, some computer programming class, and first hour, she teaches a section of English-9 (honestly, how did this happen? This sounds to be the work of two people, the three preps and running a library). In this dream, I knew I would lose the job to someone who had more seniority, and I found out the librarian wanted the English only job, and I caught her in the hallway, just after she taught English-9 and asked her about it. She said she wasn't sure if she really, really wanted it, and she asked if I did, and I started crying, but told her not to let how I felt determine which way she would go with the choice. I knew I would blow her away in the interview, but it wouldn't matter because I didn't even have a semester with the school, let alone all her years of experience.

This dream, of course, directly speaks to previous ramblings--conversation in uncertainty about next year. Husband said I might have a hard time saying no if there was an opportunity to have me stay on. He asked me what I would do, if I were accepted into a good graduate school but also asked to stay teaching here.

The way a head can spin. Worrying over something I may have no opportunity to do, in either case.

Today, in class: handed back Paradise Lost tests. Many kids did exceedingly well, and some kids who would have ordinarily done better had a little trouble on some questions and were upset. There was a bit of debate, which is good--it's good to challenge thinking--but the students still were incorrect in their interpretations and indignant. It's all very exhausting, especially the day after you've been unwell, and you spent the night with the dogs in bed again because your husband can be annoying. :)

Today, on the phone: I finally called a service representative at the GRE to find out when my scores would be reported so I could send them to my half dozen schools who require the GRE. Apparently, there was an error on the November 3rd test, which is causing it to take twice as long to be filed and reported. And there are deadlines approaching, December 15th when two are due, December 20th with another. Fortunately, because it is the GRE's fault, they are sending me a letter I can pass along to the universities in hopes for patience. (Maybe this will stave off for letters of rec too, just in case, since I only mailed out packets to my last two letter writers a few weeks ago, one of which is in England.) I thought I was organized, but maybe I'm not so much.

Today: a fairly quiet day, one with little things done. I need to let thoughts of next year go and do the best I can in the meantime. I will be OK, no matter what. I have a partner through it all.

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