day 2 of job 2

Our garage is still full. I've only just begun to take the former teacher's things from the walls--those that I won't keep up. The custodian came in and asked me if I was the sub; that stung a little, because until then, I had really felt a true member of the school, but he reminded me that I was temporary. Sub: not a true teacher of the district.

Emily asked what my thoughts are given this is only a nine month position. When I had thought about my teaching position at Old High School (to be called now, since sometimes new people drop by, but I had been calling it This High School, when I was still teaching there) and didn't realize I would be leaving, I wasn't joyful. In some ways, it felt like looking upon a sentence, on something that I knew would leave those bits of me slowly seeping away.

Thinking about nine months is easier for me, especially since I hope to go back to school. It is a nice situation for both me and the school.

And only .8 is technically LTS (LTS=long term sub). The other .2--we're not so sure. I have a separate contract for that, actually.

We spent much of today in meetings, learning how to best compare old school with new school. I was grateful when the principal spoke of how she wishes her first year teachers could teach four periods but be paid for five and couldn't coach anything or have to serve on a committee. I know it's impossible, but hearing that out loud felt good. Especially after working on five co-curriculars last year (which made them all, including the principal, gasp).

Of course, there are pitfalls to this school too: those forty three desks that you counted, Emily? Well, I won't be getting rid of any of them. This semester I teach British and World Literature (three sections, all around forty two, I believe), English-10 and ALC English-9. Next semester I will teach Humanities (two sections), English-9 (two sections), and have the same ALC kids. It's not an ideal schedule, and none of my preps are back to back.

I attempted the first of what will most likely be several rearrangements of desks this afternoon. I sat down at the computer and began a syllabus. I considered what worked well from last year. I laughed at how long I spent on the discipline portion for one class, made sure I refocused it for another. I thought about my late policy and thought about how much I hated grading late work and even more, how much I hated that the kids might not do the work at all if the late policy was too strict, thus, not learning.

And I thought about year three and how so much can change so quickly, how, two years ago, I never thought I'd be in this place, learning the shape of this school. How it's hard for me to think about Old High School moving on without me; how I hope for Emily to blog about it and don't want her to at the same time (don't let me stop you, silly). How I wish I could be like Eireann, packing up for a Ph.D in England. How easy teaching comes to me. How I'm not sure if this is what I'll always do--if I'll be happier staying or leaving. How it doesn't really matter right now because I am facing a new year, not the close of one, and I will begin to apply to graduate school this fall (I hope, I hope, I hope I can get it together) and wait and see.

And wait and see.