Friday, September 22, 2006

somebody stop me!

I have this over-achieving, procrastinating, perfectionist combination in my motivational structure that just doesn't bode well for my life as a teacher and a student.

Let's see... I'm teaching four sections of English-9. Good, I can fix all those mistakes I made from last year.

I'm teaching creative writing, which is great because I absolutely love that stuff, but it's always tough starting a new course because you have to feel you the timing of things and figure out what you can truly expect from your students and what you can get out of them too. I'm starting to fall into place as their teacher, though I can tell next semester will clearly be less of a guinea pig experience. I always feel bad for the kids that are stuck with me the first time around.

I'm helping out on the fall play, which means I'll feel compelled to attend as many rehearsals as I can.

Of course, I have the lit mag. Love it. They want to do two this year. Yipe!

I'm doing the drama club and we set a goal of having one field trip per month, games at every meeting, and much more frequent meetings. We had our first today and it looked like the kids had a lot of fun. I'm going to see if I can bring in an improv guest to one of the meetings.

I have taken it upon myself to really push fundraising for drama this year. The fall play is severely underfunded from last year's building (tools purchased and flats and such), and I don't want budget to be a concern for us as we put together future productions. (I have too much to worry about--having a big budget would have made life so much easier last spring.)

Next week, I'm going to be on the National Honor Society selection committee.

And the Leadership committee (throughout the school year). I think I'm still signed up for Curriculum and Instruction, though it's not really going the way the title suggests.

What else? I have three observations I have to survive.

And I just sent in my application to get my gifted and talented certificate. I really want to one day teach honors / AP courses, and I know it will be a while before a position opens up, but I want them to know that I'm serious and I'm working on becoming prepared for it. I was thinking next summer I might try to teach a course at a nearby gifted & talented school--those few week long courses on things like creative writing and French and drama and specialized studies... mythology and whatnot.

In non-school thoughts... I had a frightening dream last night! Not only was I dying of cancer, but there was a hostal take-over of my school. I couldn't tell if I was a student or a teacher (in some ways, I think I was both) and the school resembled a private prep type school rather than the one I teach at now... more like a miniature college. (I was watching old episodes of Girlmore Girls last night, so that might be part of it.) Anyway, it was a pretty intense dream--it's strange how strongly one can feel some of those emotions that come out of a dream. I really did feel the mournful sadness of knowing I wouldn't be around for much longer; I almost could physically feel something wrong inside my body. And I think at the end of the dream, I decided to confront the gunmen because I knew I didn't have long myself, and if I didn't, more people would die. I think I would be much more cowardly in "real life."

This weekend K and I don't have many plans... cleaning, grading (for me), recovering from a busy week, getting ready for next week... Next weekend is my good friend KF's birthday, so we're celebrating with her and on Sunday, I have the fall festival (where we're throwing a last minute drama booth together). In mid-October, K is going back to GB and I'm thinking of joining him. His sister is flying in with her son, so we'd like to see them (though we might see more of then son then him as she might be going to a class with K and her mother!).

Anyway, I'm still excited about this school year, but wary of how involved I've already gotten. I know where I want to go (I have all these goals, but I probably shouldn't post them here just yet), and I'm doing what I can to get there without sacrificing what I am to do now. I love what I do, I love what I do, I love what I do. It just makes me tired and frustrated. This is my mantra.

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